Quick Tips For Milking A Kicky Cow (Or Goat)

There are few things so frustrating as having a full bucket of milk kicked over, just as you are stripping out those last few squirts, and dreaming of the yogurt, cheese, or just plain creamy milk you are going to enjoy.  Even worse is when she kicks you in the nose first, then plants her dirty foot squarely in the bucket.  A kicky milker can cause all kinds of problems, and be downright dangerous.  Frequently, kicking is only a symptom of other issues, such as extreme nervousness.  

A nervous cow is a dangerous cow.

She is liable to hurt herself and other cows or people.  She may try to jump or charge through fences, and likely will attempt to break out of the stanchion if she is frightened.  This is not an article dealing with nervousness, but I will say that the cure, so far as I have experienced, is twofold:  1).  Lots of gentle, but firm handling, feeding of treats, and desensitizing her to common things she perceives as threats.

2).  Feed lots of dolomite.  Extreme nervousness may be caused by a magnesium imbalance, which can usually be corrected by feeding dolomite.

Here are a few tips I have learned from several years of milking cows; our own and others.  Several were first fresheners (who usually kick a lot), and a couple were just plain kicky (belonged to friends).

5 Tips for milking a kicky dairy animal:

1:  Always use two buckets.

This is probably the tip which will save you the most time, tears, and milk.  Carry out two milk buckets:  one large enough to hold all the milk you expect to get, the other to milk into.  Empty your milk bucket into the larger one periodically.  The kickier the cow, the smaller your first bucket should be, and the more often you should empty it.  If she's very kicky, hold the bucket just under her udder with one hand, and milk into it with the other.

2:  Tie one (or both) legs back to a post.

There are pros and cons to tying a cow's leg back, but for a kicky milker, the pros outweigh the cons.  Don't tie it back so tightly that she can't move it, or she may panic and really start kicking hard, and may injure herself.  Also, always, ALWAYS untie her leg before you release her head from the front of the stanchion.  If you release her head first, she will try to back out, and will probably panic when she finds that her leg is still tied.  She may break a leg in her frantic efforts to get free, and it is very dangerous to try to release a panicked, desperately kicking cow that is still tied by one leg.  (Take my word for it- I've had to do it a couple of times.)

If you plan to tie her leg, train her to allow her leg to be tied before you begin milking her.  (See my article on training first fresheners.)

3:  Don't let her get away with kicking.  YOU MUST BE THE BOSS.

If you feed periodically (like we do), throughout the milking, do not give her more feed immediately after she kicks.  This actually trains her to kick more, because in her mind kicking now equals more feed.  Instead, either ignore her (small kicks) or tell her firmly "No, bad girl", maybe accompanied by a couple of good smacks (for bad kicking).  Only trouble with smacking a cow is it usually hurts your hand way more than the cow's tough hide, so it isn't very effective.  A friend of ours had good success using a small hog zapper when their cow would kick.  Eventually she got the point that kicking = a painful shock, and she quit.

Do not lose your temper and start smacking her for every little infraction.  This will make her afraid of you, and she will kick more, because she is now uncomfortable in your presence.

4:  Don't cry over spilt milk.

This is hard to do sometimes, but crying and giving up won't put the milk back in the bucket.  Just pick up your bucket, give it a good rinse (or wash, if necessary), and sit back down to finish milking.

5:  Make milking a calming, pleasant occasion.

This probably should have been first or second, but maybe listing it last will make it more memorable.  :)

Try to keep things calm, smooth, and comfortable.  Make sure your stanchion doesn't have sharp edges that cause your cow (or goat) discomfort.  Sing to her.  (I had a goat that used to kick almost constantly unless we sang to her, and we boarded a friend's cow that also liked to be sung to.  Her favorite was "The Lily of the Valley".  Interestingly enough, her name was Lilly.)

Following these tips will help you have a pleasant, rewarding experience while milking.